Kaily's Application

In-Game Name: Kaily

Total Level and # of rebirths:

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Talents:

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*note* i am actually master mage, just have meteor, ice spear, fireball and thunder down to rank f for now cuz ouch cp... training some things so its down for now. normally rank 1 all of those, except meteor which is rank 5.


How active are you in game?:

Honestly this depends a lot on real life. My first choice on how to spend my time these days are with my boyfriend. However our hours do not usually mesh very well, he works auto technician, usually early day, and I work fast food, usually late day. So the days I am on mabi are when our times clash, and he is sleeping for early day.

Joined any previous guilds? If yes, which one(s) and why are you looking for another guild?:

umm Serenity and one before that one, it was a nonsense name that made it hard to remember... etoraxia? Doesn't matter, it and serenity were the same members just renamed. It was made and died in 08, after that i joined Knights of Nao which was where some of the serenity members joined, but there was drama and it split into Ataraxia, I took a long break, (mabi stopped working on my computer for years) and when I came back I was no longer in Ataraxia and didn't recognize the people who took it over. However, i still have some of the old members on my facebook =] they dont play anymore though...

Next was Crimson. I joined because they took their name from the ./hack series, the crimson knights. They helped noobies and protected those being camped, and actively reported anything suspicious (hacks, scams etc). I loved that. So I joined. I didn't know anyone in it at the time, just liked what it stood for. My computer still had ungodly issues running mabi, (it was a different computer, but like the last one second hand and crappy) i couldn't go into the iria area without blacking out. I went on my dad's computer every other weekend though and could do more, if i got into a bad area on my home computer that is when I had to get it out of that area. So my attendance and activity were not the best, I did what I could with a bad computer. ... Mostly i worked on life skills. Very slowly. Old school grind was NOT fun.

Then the leaders of that guild started playing another game more often and recruited me to join them, I did. It was a war game, empire building, politics, strategy etc. I rocked at it, I suck at games but i rocked at this one. They were not, I carried them. One of them had bipolar, and the game did bad things for her... i got to see a side of her I hadn't before. And she did the ONE thing that I can't deal with, my big red button. She called me a stupid bitch. (my trigger there is stupid, not bitch)  I got them out of a bad situation, set them up very nicely. But i wanted to leave their guild on that game for another one, they were much more capable, on my level of playing, and they were much nicer. Also ever since that blow up and her calling me stupid, I wanted out.

*** Story you didn't ask for but this is why I react so badly/strongly to be called stupid.

I have high functioning autism. For the most part you can't tell, but a part of autism is the stims. As a child I did the rocking thing, whole body hardcore rock. It looks.... retarded. And I got made fun of as such for it, both at school and at home by my stepdad. He would make fun of me for being stupid/retarded, and if I dared to say “no i'm not” I was hit for talking back. You do not talk back to grownups, fucking idiot...

I have huge problems now with little voice in my head already telling me how fucking stupid I am, and when someone from outside my head mirrors it I lose it. Not in an angry way, in a omg iv just been slapped, crying can't breath meltdown way. Yes, you could call me a crybaby about it/odd/ etc, you are probably right, I have issues... I don't even know where to start working on them except to avoid those who say it. On that note though, at least I do not express angry emotion, just sad.

So I left that guild in the other game, and the leader went crazy said I do not belong in any Crimson Guild in any game. She had already let vincent take the guild leader in mabi though, and he didn't want me booted. I stayed for awhile but the guild name just made me feel sick... too many bad memories now. So I left, vincent wasn't happy, he never is when someone leaves the guild though. I think he eventually forgave me, we are certainly friends now. ^_^;

After that I joined I think capulet? The owner sent me a random invite, i was like im not sure how active i'll be... (i was still not happy about the crimson thing...) she was like okay do what you can, i just invited you cuz you were cute and we are not that active atm anyhow. I went on hiatus, when came back was out of guild. Lol...

Then it was Knights of Tir =] I liked this guild a lot. At the time both the guild leader and the coleader were absent due to computer issues, which I understood quite well. I waited months, and while i was waiting the other members talked to me on skype and we ran stuff etc etc mabi things. I became very very close with them. Then when the leaders got back we got hit with a bunch of drama things... one of the biggest one was one of our members, a good member, was seen on his stream using a cp mod. One of the rules of the guild is no mods. Ever. There was a big drama issue over it, half didnt want the member to be kicked out when he was like family over something so small, it was a stupid rule cp mod is such a harmless mod. the other half felt rules were rules he broke them. And so the guild split. Literally. It formed into two guilds. Neither of them had the feel of the original.

So i left to try finally making my own guild! And then that failed before it even started. ... I couldn't find the members. Then I went on hiatus. Without the same people it didn't feel the same and I was missing them too strongly while in game it wasn't fun.... So I took a break.

Now I am back and looking for new guild family... and that is what I look for when looking for a guild. A guild that is more family like.



Why Dreams?

Well to answer that I should tell you what I look for when I am hunting for a new guild. Obviously I want one I can call family, so the existing members i see in it have to be tight, know each other/hang together etc. Another good way to tell is the effort being put into the guild, so like a website off of mabi (like this one!). Also the Application Process, needs to be more than you want in? Your in! Like a screening to see if the people fit with the existing people in the guild. I love your interview process. =] It allows you to see the character of the person with the questions, and the referrals mean they already have a connection to the guild. It also allows all dirty laundry to be aired before acceptance into the guild, you know what you are getting into drama wise and cut it off before it starts. Which brings me to the last thing I look for, something very low drama. Preferrably no drama but drama just seems to always happen... and I don't deal too well with drama at all... my stomach hurts from it etc etc. It is odd when i was younger I had a huge well of calmness and could take a ton of drama, but since getting out of all drama irl (i moved out =] ) I am now happy, out of shell, and easily hurt... Worse for dealing with drama. =[ Me and drama can't deal... It usually ends up not only with me leaving the guild but the game as a whole for awhile.



Who have referred you? (more like people in dreams i know, no one was like hey come join dreams, i was like what do i do to get in?)
~Inocturne (Daddy!)
~Trees (brother)
~GhostlyBard (brother)
~Drawing (owes me life debt! *Collecting*)


How long have you been playing?: Off and on since 08

What kind of skills/accomplishments do you have?:

Life skills! ... okay a lot of them were training pots. Potions i did all the hard way though, before training seals before even ecology with it's poison herbs (oh god you have no idea how much that would have helped....) but for the final 5 ranks I did make use of double skills stuff. I stockpiled my rare herbs (esp poisons) and waited for a rainbow day, then i popped my complete skill pot and a life train pot, etc etc to get the most of them to make rank 1. but up to rank 5 i did without any double training. Hell i started it before homesteads were even a thing, and when we got them i filled it with herbs. I think there was like a year in which i could barely move due to lag so i just stayed in that homestead once a day to pick the herbs... >_>; yes this is my excuse for the poor level ratio. XD there were times i was like only level 10 and i was at a free rebirth time so i just did it...  cuz lower rank the easier to level and get ap and I wasn't really able to do much for leveling with the hardcore lagging... My main play time was the weekends i visited my dad, the rest was omg im bored. ... *try to train character for the weekend*

Most of my life skills I hoarded the mats for and waited for double rainbow or something to do it on. Then i ranked to level 5 and train sealed the rest of the way. Enchant I did training pots, it was hell to train. I think i got it to r6? Almost r6, i did a train seal 10 for the last gap of that rank and train potted the rest. =]

(erm by train seal rest of way i did for blacksmithing and tailoring and magic craft and hillwen engineering. Weaving, refining, ecology, minerology and such i did on my own steam, refining i did the final rank by training pot but thats cuz i had it so why not? Lol...)



Any other information you would like for us to know:

Something I noticed in other interviews that might be a problem... I'm not that great a fighter. I have the skills/damage but my actual in game co-ordination (usually i dunno what the hell is going on, just spam final hit or thunder) is horrible. My chara is strong enough to kill things and durable enough to not be killed easily though so that helps/not useless.

I can help in other ways though, like if there is something you are grinding for a particular item I can help. Or make something. R1 Blacksmith, Tailor, potions, magic craft, hillwen engineering, synthesis, etc etc. Lots of r1 goodies. Only thing i dont have is carpentry, i was only able to get up to r6. Or help you get there yourself, since i have left over mats, and the r1 skills that help get the mats like mineralogy, weaving, fragmentation, metallurgy, metal conversion, ecology, synthesis etc.

I am a lot older than I seem, lol... I am childish but not immature. I just find small, simple things enjoyable and I am an enthusiastic emotional person so it comes off childish to people. So its like omg icecream I love icecream! =D However, I take care of business, and I am a responsible adult.

I am honest to a fault, I am free with info to a point beyond what is wise but really I am actually just so completely socially inept I say screw it I will be honest and let the chips fall, that is the best I can ever do.

Now, part of high functioning autism is an inability to read people/social cues. This makes some of us rude but not purposely, just do not know better. I have been lucky enough to have my sister who says shit straight up and always lets me know what's up, so I learned through her how to behave etc. but I am not perfect far from it... I need people to tell me if I do anything even remotely bad so I can fix it. and I will have no other way to know i did anything wrong unless you tell me because I just can't read into those kinds of things. Please, please, please don't hesitate to speak up T_T you will help me long run, for life.

I usually do not have a problem with people though, it is actually very very rare because I am aware of my failings and take extra care with people, but it can happen and don't want it to turn into anything so let me know ASAP so I can apologize and take care in future on that specific thing.

Hey ~ Confirming the referral for Kaily.
Kaily has a literal heart of gold, Not only has she never been shy to help when its needed, but shes quite a fun character to be around.

Her heart of solid gold, and personality are what really speak out to me, As she said, her combat may not be high, but her life skills are something she shines in, She enjoys helping other players, and that alone speaks volumes to me.

Kaily, now for some fun, Questions ~

What are three things you believe you'll be able to provide for this Family, and why?

You brought up having a Issue with Drama, that would cause you to potentially leave guilds, this is something that will trigger several red flags in fellow members minds.
Should a situation arise where you'd be confronted with a "drama" situation with a fellow guild member, how would you go about solving the issue.

And Finally, I'm aware that your fighting prowess is low, however; A member of the guild, or even a random player asks for your assistance with a mission, or a quest, Knowing your own capabilities, what would you do to help them?

Congratulations thus far on making it into the Application process, I look forward to hopefully seeing you within this family we call Dreams. Best of luck on your application!
-Nocturne.

INocturne wrote:Hey ~ Confirming the referral for Kaily.
Kaily has a literal heart of gold, Not only has she never been shy to help when its needed, but shes quite a fun character to be around.

Her heart of solid gold, and personality are what really speak out to me, As she said, her combat may not be high, but her life skills are something she shines in, She enjoys helping other players, and that alone speaks volumes to me.

Kaily, now for some fun, Questions ~

What are three things you believe you'll be able to provide for this Family, and why?

You brought up having a Issue with Drama, that would cause you to potentially leave guilds, this is something that will trigger several red flags in fellow members minds.
Should a situation arise where you'd be confronted with a "drama" situation with a fellow guild member, how would you go about solving the issue.

And Finally, I'm aware that your fighting prowess is low, however; A member of the guild, or even a random player asks for your assistance with a mission, or a quest, Knowing your own capabilities, what would you do to help them?

Congratulations thus far on making it into the Application process, I look forward to hopefully seeing you within this family we call Dreams. Best of luck on your application!
-Nocturne.

Thanks noc... =] *hugs*

1. Three things i can provide this family
a) my life skills and enchant skills and construct alchemy skills
b) I have good character, I care about people and do what I can to help them achieve their goals. =]
c) enthusiasm and creativity. In past guilds I took on roles that let me help contribute to the community of the guild, suggesting and running on approval guild events, contests and just general fun stuff, and helped provide the things that were needed to make that come about.

2. The drama thing. I won't leave at the drop of the hat, the level of drama I am talking about was enough to already split the guild, I was just one of many that were driven off by the drama. However... I do admittedly have that weakness, that red button... However usually people stay away from it, the only person to have ever gone that far in mabinogi was stargazer, and it wasn't just that one thing but overall craziness/bad attitude over me leaving the guild in a game not mabinogi... You would have to ask someone who has seen how she gets to know how bad it got. Which i could actually provide if you are willing to go on teamspeak and talk to the leader of the guild i joined there. 4 years later, i am still in that one, we are the top fighters in our server there =]

3. Make them aware I am not that great, but help them as I can. Usually people just need me as another body on a run. Others they need me more support, like in peaca abyss once my main role was naoing up and party feathering. If they need muscle I can request help with them I suppose?

Hello Kaily and welcome to the Dreams's application process

I have liked what I read about your application seems you took time reading other people's application and you wrote about future questions we would ask; one of them explaining the low level ratio; you already told us the reason but I would like to know; what are you doing right now to improve your ratio? Do you try now hit level 100 and up? What you usually do to level up?


You de-ranked mage skills to lower your Cp; what are you currently working for?


You tried other games; what does keep you coming back to Mabinogi?


Random question if we ever get a new Talent; what would you like to be and how would it help in party run?

Confirming as a referral for Kaily. Someone I've known since around 2012-2013 when I was still doing art commissions who's always been extremely friendly and generous. I can't anything about her skills and character ability since I've never actually ran with her before, but she seems to check out on our requirements and personality appeals to me above all else, which she more than makes up for.

Best of luck on your application, Kaily!

As it was already mentionned earlier, your rebirth ratio is just too low at 38. You have almost half of my rebirths with barely 1/6 of my total. This is for that reason we are requiring a test run for you. You can post the time in pacific time here and we will send you 2 members to come along. Dreams is very combat oriented so this where you might have a hard time. 

On another page:

(quote)
Now, part of high functioning autism is an inability to read people/social cues. This makes some of us rude but not purposely, just do not know better. I have been lucky enough to have my sister who says shit straight up and always lets me know what's up, so I learned through her how to behave etc. but I am not perfect far from it... I need people to tell me if I do anything even remotely bad so I can fix it. and I will have no other way to know i did anything wrong unless you tell me because I just can't read into those kinds of things. Please, please, please don't hesitate to speak up T_T you will help me long run, for life.

I usually do not have a problem with people though, it is actually very very rare because I am aware of my failings and take extra care with people, but it can happen and don't want it to turn into anything so let me know ASAP so I can apologize and take care in future on that specific thing.(quote)


I was born with dysphasia so I can definitely relate to this. That's why I can at least ensure you there won't be any trouble coming up from this.

aurkus wrote:Hello Kaily and welcome to the Dreams's application process

I have liked what I read about your application seems you took time reading other people's application and you wrote about future questions we would ask; one of them explaining the low level ratio; you already told us the reason but I would like to know; what are you doing right now to improve your ratio? Do you try now hit level 100 and up? What you usually do to level up?


You de-ranked mage skills to lower your Cp; what are you currently working for?


You tried other games; what does keep you coming back to Mabinogi?


Random question if we ever get a new Talent; what would you like to be and how would it help in party run?

1. What to do to hit ratio. What do you usually do to level up?:
Honestly I have never looked at ratio... I am always concentrating more on the skill training itself, I usually level up easily enough doing runs with friends when they ask but for the most part I don't actively try to level. I have been playing sporadically on hiatuses (even after i got a good computer and didn't have to stick to life skills), enough to get a few levels to get ap, then free rebirth. The ap is more important than the ratio, ratio is more like bragging rights. Since I level even when I am not really actually playing, cuz I know I always want more ap and will be coming back, i pop in for short times to get it, but not hardcore leveling too much time/effort when I am not actively playing it... Rather have the ap than the good ratio. If I am quite low I will run some dailies or elites, I have a stockpile of passes and shadow mission crystals, but I hate shadowmissions... I usually go alby adv hardmode at least crack it for celtic sword pieces. have a stockpile of those blank passes to go anywhere too. I stockpile EVERYTHING

2. What are you working for?: Atm animal taming, just to get it. Currently rank 5. =] After that some other skills that need low cp just to get them for in future, like the alchemy ones and such. Just to get the training for them out of the way so if i ever have the spare ap, I can train what I want to get the stats. (i have another all skill reset for after im done the training, so i can just train what I want with my ap and the things that boost the stats I want. etc) so currently my character is not at fighting bar cuz its skills are everywhere... I know I should have waited till after ap cuz of possible test but with this even going on felt it was important to take advantage of it and grab the skills.

3. You tried other games; what does keep you coming back to Mabinogi? The feel of it, mabinogi is a unique game, I love how you level your character more by training skills than actual levels, levels are just a means to level your skills. Also, I like the style of it, it is simple and so cute =] less distracting detail so I can actually (somewhat) figure out what the hell is going on.... lol

4. Random question if we ever get a new Talent; what would you like to be and how would it help in party run?
hmm you mean like create my own talent? That's a good question, in rpgs I usually like the fast characters. the rogues/thieves with their daggers. I dunno if i can actually answer this.... mabinogi has so many talents already X____X gah difficult difficult... *ponders* Maybe an Assassin? Something that causes a big burst damage, but then get weakened after and an overall all skill cooldown so you have to kill or be killed when you use it. if you fail, run away all you can do. so you would have to wittle it down with other attacks, then finish it off. ... This would actually be terrible if someone is trying to kill something specifically for an item, unless you can give it to them after it drops for you. oohhhh actually that would be cool, if your running that drop nx item, you can insure it gets to you and makes use, then give it to the person needing it. =] it would more be useful in doing a big bang near end of the boss battle.

Leidolf wrote:As it was already mentionned earlier, your rebirth ratio is just too low at 38. You have almost half of my rebirths with barely 1/6 of my total. This is for that reason we are requiring a test run for you. You can post the time in pacific time here and we will send you 2 members to come along. Dreams is very combat oriented so this where you might have a hard time. 

On another page:

(quote)
Now, part of high functioning autism is an inability to read people/social cues. This makes some of us rude but not purposely, just do not know better. I have been lucky enough to have my sister who says shit straight up and always lets me know what's up, so I learned through her how to behave etc. but I am not perfect far from it... I need people to tell me if I do anything even remotely bad so I can fix it. and I will have no other way to know i did anything wrong unless you tell me because I just can't read into those kinds of things. Please, please, please don't hesitate to speak up T_T you will help me long run, for life.

I usually do not have a problem with people though, it is actually very very rare because I am aware of my failings and take extra care with people, but it can happen and don't want it to turn into anything so let me know ASAP so I can apologize and take care in future on that specific thing.(quote)


I was born with dysphasia so I can definitely relate to this. That's why I can at least ensure you there won't be any trouble coming up from this.

okay, will have to wait on the test though... in mid cp training things.... when even is over I will be back to normal, probably before then if i work hard enough at it. In meantime I will practice =]

oh and

I was born with dysphasia so I can definitely relate to this. That's why I can at least ensure you there won't be any trouble coming up from this.

thank you for sharing that... it makes me feel better, less anxious, about it. =]

This here be a spoiler button:

Well well, seems like we already have a few things in common! (fellow autist here)

I can also relate to not being able to sense people's feelings as easily, for example I can't sense other people's sarcasm at all (or 5% of the time, at best). And seeing other people being depressed scares me. (strange reaction, I know)

I think you'd fit in pretty well in Dreams, to be honest, everyone's really nice and we all look out for eachother, especially Keo (She's such a mom-figure, hahah)

I'm no good at questioning people, nor am I any good at writing long and interesting posts, so I'll just wish you good luck on your application.~

Keo wrote:I would say that as far as the aspect of us being like family- we definitely are that but we joke around and tease and sometimes that can go into name calling either in an affectionate way or jokingly I wonder how this would affect you since you have an underlying issue with things.

I know I personally have called people stupid but in an endearing way being light-hearted and laughing/joking with them.  How would that type of thing make you feel?

Do you handle sarcasm, jokes, sexual innuendos, adult humor and sometimes questionable humor well?

There has been a lot of shade and drama thrown at Dreams members before and it can always resurface again, how does knowing that history make you feel? Are rumors and things something that you can ignore or do they bother you as well?

Lastly if you have a disagreement with someone in the guild would you try to work it out or would you just leave the guild?  I know conflict can be uncomfortable, I just am trying to understand to what extent you would be comfortable and how you might react in these completely possible situations.

Thank you for your time and good luck on your application.

1. I know I personally have called people stupid but in an endearing way being light-hearted and laughing/joking with them. How would that type of thing make you feel?

well first I think everyone has certain things affect them differently, just with me instead of having a lot of light problems i am invincible to everything but have one big weakness. In terms of pokemon:
"You are fat" attack is not effective
"You are a bitch" attack is not effective
"You are a slut" attack is not effective
"You are ugly" attack is not effective
"You have saggy tits" attack is not effective
"You have a pancake but" attack is not effective (in this case true but don't care lol...)
"You are stupid" attack is super effective, critical hit!
The others are not effective because I am very secure in everything, except that. Which I am insecure in. In normal people those attacks would be weak or effective or normal. I am completely immune then one super effective box.

However there is a big difference in how its said, said lightly its nothing I do it myself. It gets more complicated when said in frustration, which can be mistaken as anger, but once addressed and cleared up rolls off like water. Said in outright anger, like was done in the crimson case, is what makes it an issue... Complicated by the fact that it was the guild leader that did it and it was enough to drive me off. Though added background as to why she got so mad at me leaving, when I left for that guild, crimson fell apart cuz so many left after I did, apparently they were only there for me, so even though when i left its not like i took them with me, I couldn't anyways there is max 40 people to a guild, they had to move someone to make room for me (it is an elite guild on that game). but regardless when I left it crippled crimson in that game and it died. Thats why she went at me so much afterward and brought the drama from that game to mabinogi, and what made me leave the guild in mabinogi too. She was also borrowing some cp items and some fashion items from me that I never got back... which sucks but honestly if you consider it a price to be paid to cut ties it is a price gladly paid.



2. Do you handle sarcasm, jokes, sexual innuendos, adult humor and sometimes questionable humor well?
The question is more can you handle me, than me handle you =] Actually this game isn't one prime for smack talk... its more social and PvE than PvP. You should see me in league of legends, or in that war game I keep talking about. Example:
some guy was talking smack about AL in that game cuz he was low level and not good, but it was politics talk which made it irrelevant. So, I told him if he wanted a dick measuring contest mine was the one to measure up to. (i can talk shit in that game cuz i actually kick ass in it hee) ... it gets a lot more crude than that but you get the idea... I handle my own pretty well.



3. There has been a lot of shade and drama thrown at Dreams members before and it can always resurface again, how does knowing that history make you feel? Are rumors and things something that you can ignore or do they bother you as well

Nope! before i joined crimson there was a lot of negativity being thrown at it, but I judge what I see not what others see. I tend to see things differently than most anyhow (perks of autism). I even got some hate just from being in it, then those same people I befriended anyhow. example "for someone in crimson, you are pretty cool" (thanks?)

Oh and I tend to be oblivious. Thank you autism. not reading social cues etc and being immune to everything but comments on intelligence means I actually somehow miss it when people are being mean to me, and after my friends or boyfriend will point it out and I am like huh? didn't notice. O_o; I don't get subtle things, they have to smash me in the face with it for me to even recognize it for what it is. lol...



4. Lastly if you have a disagreement with someone in the guild would you try to work it out or would you just leave the guild? I know conflict can be uncomfortable, I just am trying to understand to what extent you would be comfortable and how you might react in these completely possible situations.

It depends on how it effects the overall guild life. Example if it is someone I now completely clash with and whenever we are on at the same time drama rises it would be stressful and i would try to avoid them while they are online. If they were online a lot and constantly running into them and it turning bad I would probably leave to look for a new home, because that kind of drama is not only not fun for those in it, but not healthy for the guild as a whole. It effects everyone. It is better for one to leave than to stay and draw it out worse, but if after that person who had issues with left and I wasn't attached to a different guild at the time I would look into rejoining.

Littlesnowie wrote:

This here be a spoiler button:

Well well, seems like we already have a few things in common! (fellow autist here)

I can also relate to not being able to sense people's feelings as easily, for example I can't sense other people's sarcasm at all (or 5% of the time, at best). And seeing other people being depressed scares me. (strange reaction, I know)

I think you'd fit in pretty well in Dreams, to be honest, everyone's really nice and we all look out for eachother, especially Keo (She's such a mom-figure, hahah)

I'm no good at questioning people, nor am I any good at writing long and interesting posts, so I'll just wish you good luck on your application.~

yeah.... i need sarcasm brackets irl (it would be like /sarcasm)

gah omg i cant edit posts.

i wanted to add depression scaring you doesn't seem odd at all, it makes sense. People don't want to see others sad, they want them to be happy. But how do you make a depressed person happy? It's something only they have the power to do. They have to find their way out, you can assist them but only so much and only as much as they wish you too.

Biggest problem is depression has a way of feeding itself, and burns bridges. Which is not helpful to those wanting to see them get better.

Depressed people scary? Yep. I see that.

I personally don`t like when people get judged based on their rebirth/level ratio, mine is probably around 70... and gona be even lower after this daily rb event.
Anyway hello Kaily. I gota say i skipped through some parts because i was too lazy, i might get back to it later.
You seem the kind of girl who i`d fall for tho and it`s about time i stop being the newest member of this guild so i approve.

Oh and you´re not stupid, i can tell that much at least and you should trust me because i`m the most trustworthy person in the world.
Good luck with your application.

Hihi Kaily! Welcome to the application process of Dreams ^^!

I can see you put a lot of effort and honesty into your application so thank-you for that. Thank-you as well for sharing your story and giving us that insight on you. I know it's not always easy to come out and tell people, especially new people, something so close to your heart. I appreciate your sincerity there and I'm sorry that happened to you! I think we are a lot alike because a lot of what you've said made me go "oh that's what I do too" lol so I think we'd get along really well (at least I'd hope so ^^).

I can honestly say there's next to no drama within the guild. Sometimes there's little fuss ups occasionally (but that's normal even for family). For the most part everyone loves everyone else like a family, we support each other when we can and we have fun doing our own things as well during quiet times. It really is a great group of people.

As a side note I have depression and anxiety disorders but I only show how I really feel when something really bothers me and usually people will know why or ask and I can talk freely to them about it. That's why I love every person in this guild so much - they are all incredibly approachable which was always a hard part of making friends for me. I have no doubt in my mind that despite any problems that arise you'd fit in if you were accepted so I wouldn't worry about that ^^.

Just a few questions for you:

How do you feel about mods? What about pake? More specifically do you see a difference in these two things and how do you feel about people using either of them? Would you use either of them?

What is elitism to you and how do you feel about it?

If you felt like you weren't fitting in or felt like you were having trouble making friends within the guild what would you do about it?

Good-luck with your application!

PS - Don't trust Chii (just kidding Chii is awesome! I love you Chii <3)!

cassa wrote:Hihi Kaily!  Welcome to the application process of Dreams ^^!

I can see you put a lot of effort and honesty into your application so thank-you for that.  Thank-you as well for sharing your story and giving us that insight on you.  I know it's not always easy to come out and tell people, especially new people, something so close to your heart.  I appreciate your sincerity there and I'm sorry that happened to you!  I think we are a lot alike because a lot of what you've said made me go "oh that's what I do too" lol so I think we'd get along really well (at least I'd hope so ^^).

I can honestly say there's next to no drama within the guild.  Sometimes there's little fuss ups occasionally (but that's normal even for family).  For the most part everyone loves everyone else like a family, we support each other when we can and we have fun doing our own things as well during quiet times.  It really is a great group of people.

As a side note I have depression and anxiety disorders but I only show how I really feel when something really bothers me and usually people will know why or ask and I can talk freely to them about it.  That's why I love every person in this guild so much - they are all incredibly approachable which was always a hard part of making friends for me.  I have no doubt in my mind that despite any problems that arise you'd fit in if you were accepted so I wouldn't worry about that ^^.

Just a few questions for you:

How do you feel about mods?  What about pake?  More specifically do you see a difference in these two things and how do you feel about people using either of them?  Would you use either of them?

What is elitism to you and how do you feel about it?

If you felt like you weren't fitting in or felt like you were having trouble making friends within the guild what would you do about it?

Good-luck with your application!

PS - Don't trust Chii (just kidding Chii is awesome!  I love you Chii <3)!

=] yep the more I know this guild the more I like it lol...

1. a) How do you feel about mods? Nuetral, its the modders that use the bad mods to hack people that piss me off... Most mods are useful or cosmetic, don't really give any advantage over other players. Some even help people who can't play the game otherwise, like enlarging the text for those that don't see well.

b) What about pake?
Pake is the most dangerous mod pack, but like I said in a) its the users more than the pack. It was made for negative purposes, but not everyone who uses it does so in a bad way, I have some friends that use it even, but to my knowledge they havent used it against another player just randomness like pulling out unlimited balloon lantern thingies... Its not that you have it, but what you use it for.

c) More specifically do you see a difference in these two things and how do you feel about people using either of them? Pake is a lot more dark than other mod packs, cuz it is a lot more geared towards game breaking, but its all shades of grey. Actions on the other hand, are all black and white. Cp mod? White. Hacking like whats being done to some users lately? Black.

d) Would you use either of them?
I have used tiara i think it is? in the past to help with lag when that was a big problem and making the game unplayable. I also checked out abyss when drama in the guild was going down so i could see what the fuss was about, but all the mods in it were very harmless... I still ended up uninstalling it though. Harmless or not there are some very opinionated people about it and I rather not alienate someone over something so silly. People > game.

2. What is elitism to you and how do you feel about it?

Elitism is when someone has a passion about something and holds themselves and others to a high standard in that something. However my experience with elitists is they are often very helpful in helping you achieve that standard as well, and as long as you put in the effort even if you fall short of those standards they still accept you. It is more when you don't try/care, that they have more of a problem with you...

I admit, I am a active poster on a forum for yu gi oh tcg called DGZ, they can be elitist assholes but at the end of the day they are some of the most upstanding people I know and are very close even though we are all over the map. It is actually owned by my exboyfriend (my first one! who i am still friends with... im friends with all my exs but one... cuz that one was awkward as fuck break up cuz he posed as me to have cyber sex with a gm in an online game for 900B in game monies... Dunno if that counts as cheating, or whoring me out but doing the work for me? ... I quit that game and don't talk to him anymore) and he traveled to the US to go to max's wedding =] There are many other meet ups and stuff irl too. and chris comes bi yearly from the UK to visit ash here and usually bunch of people come from around canada and US to stay with ash too for a big meet up and since i live 15 minutes from ash I get to see everyone too =] So its kinda funny that the closest knit group online I belong to are the elitist ones... haha =]

I myself am not elitist, after what I have been through I would never fault anyone for falling short in anything...



3. If you felt like you weren't fitting in or felt like you were having trouble making friends within the guild what would you do about it?

Well i wouldn't join a guild before knowing if i could make friends with the people in the guild =] I got to know you guys somewhat when i was going through the apps, not so much the people being interviewed but how you interviewed them, learned what you guys look for your values (example honesty over the actual answers) and they click with my own. Also I have seen Dreams members everywhere and always gotten along with them, whether in passing or as more long term friends.

Part of being in a guild is the family aspect, if your a blacksheep in the family its probably not a good family to be in... I am choosy which guilds I join. I have been in mabi since 08, and can count on one hand the number of guilds I have been in, and usually when I leave it is when the guild dies or falls apart.

I am a very good judge of character, example i met noc on the mabi forums after he was hacked, I didn't help him out right away, I got to know him a little first, then I decided to help him out, and trusted it wasn't a scam, and he was a good person who deserved this. So I loaned him 15m, and trusted he would give it back, and he did. There are other examples I could give where I showed faith in people and was proven right, I am very very good at picking out good people.

Also shhh I will let you in on a secret o_O; It sounds naive but I have a bubble :O it is a very good bubble. It helps attract me to good people and keeps the bad people away ^_^' I call it my bubble theory and you can laugh and call it silly but it has yet to be disproven lol I am a very lucky person, especially with people. All the truly awesome people I have met and befriended is too good for it just to be luck, I have a bubble. =]



Addressing what you said with social/anxiety problems, I can relate but I got much better with talking to people because of this: *story time!*

I used to try and hide that there was anything wrong with me, self concious as fuck. To me it was because of me being stupid that everything bad happened to me. Like... My mom used to always teach me about child abuse and that it was wrong etc, yet she did nothing when my stepdad went after me, so I thought it wasn't that it was justified cuz I was stupid, or she would have done something. So i didn't want anyone else to know for fear they would start treating me the same way and I couldn't take that... So I tried to act smart and would be stubburn as hell if anyone said I was wrong i could NOT be wrong cuz that would mean I was stupid. I also would never dare ask for help, cuz that would also be admitting I was stupid. etc etc. Whole bunch of crazyness that I learned later made things worse not better. Not knowing something doesn't make you stupid, but not trying to correct it like asking and learning, does.

That changed for me when I learned about Carley Fleischmann, she is a girl with low functioning autism and mute. The stereotype worst case scenario of autism. Drools, flails, yells, rocks, bangs head, can't talk etc etc. They thought she was unintelligent, retarded. Talked around her as if she wasn't even there. Then... She learned to type and what she had to say shocked everyone. She was very smart, and her words were powerful. No one would dare call her stupid after reading what she had to say.

It taught me that I wasn't stupid because of the problems I had, I could have them and still be smart. It wasn't a weakness. The more I learned about autism the more interested I became in it. My autism doesn't make me stupid, but it does mean that my brain is wired way off what it is for anyone else. The world I see, feel, and experience, is way different than a neurotypical (normal range) brain and that is why i react to it the way I do, and it is not an indicator of unintelligence, rather the opposite actually as my brain is supercharged it has more connections, especially around the senses area, which makes the senses supercharged and overwhelming, that is why autistic people need to stim so much and why they have more drastic stims. example a normal stim is tapping a pencil, an autistic stim is whole body rocking. It just needs to be more intense because our world is more intense. Is also why I sometimes have shutdowns, which is a form of meltdowns but where meltdowns are temper tantrum like, shutdowns are more like well shutting down. In either case it is a lack of control. Meltdown is more outward and shutdown more inward.



After that revelation my world, my life, changed, and it was no longer something unsharable but rather I embraced it. Old wounds still hurt though... so being called stupid is still a weak point, but I can talk about it no issues. =] Autism is fucking awesome to be honest haha ^_^' (the only problem is that my stepdad is an asshole)

omg this not able to edit thing is getting annoying...

I always hit post then immediately after am like oh wait... forgot to address something I wanted to. X_X


So, for finding it difficult to open up to people about something you may feel vulnerable about, I can understand, but if they don't accept you because of it that is something wrong with them, not you. and honestly as scary as it is putting yourself out there you are better off diving into the deep end and finding out who helps you and who will let you drown. Your life as a whole will be a lot richer for it.

Same for depression... Though it is a much trickier subject and one I am a lot less confident about. As someone the polar opposite of depressed I can only imagine it and try to help those who come to me for support best I can. Honestly I feel helpless though, and usually resort to baking them cake irl. >_>; I make delicious chocolate chip cake and chocolate has feel good things to it (forget the name for it, but they make you happy! there is a reason why in the harry potter books it is used as medicine after a dementor attack haha *geek moment but totally relevant*). Which is a temp fix to a much larger problem, but after finding my own happiness so fully, its something I think must be found by the person suffering, and once they find their own peace and happiness will be better. you can only be there when they need you to help them through the bad times. you can't find their happiness for them, and you can't fix them. trying would only put pressure on them, to make them feel like they need to be happy for you, put on a show, make them tired. so when they do need you, they will feel like they can't be around you, and that is not a good way to feel... nope. Best to be someone they can feel comfortable being sad around, misery loves company, and sometimes you need to allow yourself to feel the misery and deal with it, to overcome it. and it's easier to do that with people you can be miserable around.

... thats my thoughts on it anyhow, after finding my own way. Each has their own way, but I hope you find something in there...

And i didn`t even get a hello back.
The bubble theory must be real, i`m a bad person :c

Guess i`ll have to give you an actual question then.
What are your thoughts on clingy and jealous people?
What do you think causes them to be like that and how to fix it and does it even need to be fixed or am i just meeting all the wrong people? (definetly not asking about my personal problems)


Edit: Reading the post above "But how do you make a depressed person happy? It's something only they have the power to do. They have to find their way out, you can assist them but only so much and only as much as they wish you too."

What if the depression is caused by loneliness and you can make them happy by staying with them.
I realize it`s probably not the correct solution to it because they need to learn independence as well but what kind of advice would you give in that situation. And i`ve been alone for 2 years without thinking that i need anyone beside me after my last relationship but then i met people who i liked and got addicted being with someone again so i can`t stand being alone anymore.

Chiien wrote:And i didn`t even get a hello back.
The bubble theory must be real, i`m a bad person :c

Guess i`ll have to give you an actual question then.
What are your thoughts on clingy and jealous people?
What do you think causes them to be like that and how to fix it and does it even need to be fixed or am i just meeting all the wrong people? (definetly not asking about my personal problems)


Edit: Reading the post above "But how do you make a depressed person happy? It's something only they have the power to do. They have to find their way out, you can assist them but only so much and only as much as they wish you too."

What if the depression is caused by loneliness and you can make them happy by staying with them.
I realize it`s probably not the correct solution to it because they need to learn independence as well but what kind of advice would you give in that situation. And i`ve been alone for 2 years without thinking that i need anyone beside me after my last relationship but then i met people who i liked and got addicted being with someone again so i can`t stand being alone anymore.

Sorry I didn't think it would be appropriate to respond to that in my app lol... *hugs* i don't hate you I dont even slightly dislike you =]


1. What are your thoughts on clingy and jealous people? Well in either case clingy, jealous, or both, there is someone for everyone, some people dig that. but for the person possessing those things it can cause stress and anxiety, and they may want to work on it for their own piece of mind. DO NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE BUT YOU! it is a bad idea. best case scenario you will be stressed trying to change and put some of that to the fault of the person you are changing for, and that is not fair to them. worst case the relationship with them changes and with it your motivation and you will regress. Best is to do it for you and only you.


2. What do you think causes them to be like that and how to fix it and does it even need to be fixed or am i just meeting all the wrong people? (definetly not asking about my personal problems)
Anything can cause it, it can be just part of their personality, or actual issues that made them like that. like maybe they have been cheated on? I had a clingy and jealous boyfriend once, he was like that because he really didnt like being alone. his mom died when he was 8 and his dad works in security. As to if it needs to be fixed, that is something that needs to be answered by the person it is affecting. does it cause them much stress and anxiety?


3. What if the depression is caused by loneliness and you can make them happy by staying with them.

I realize it`s probably not the correct solution to it because they need to learn independence as well but what kind of advice would you give in that situation.
oh i meant more like... dont actively try to fix them/ make them happy because it can be counter productive if they then feel like they have to be happy to make you happy. it will be tiring on them pretending to be happy and alienate them from you when they need you the most. you need to be there for them when they are happy or sad. so its okay for them to be sad around you and just be there. like if they cry don't give them reasons why they shouldnt just let them cry, they need to get it out, if that makes sense.


"And i`ve been alone for 2 years without thinking that i need anyone beside me after my last relationship but then i met people who i liked and got addicted being with someone again so i can`t stand being alone anymore."
after the upbringing i had i was extremely independant too, even when in relationships it was the boyfriends who were always the clingy ones. then i met my current boyfriend, who is someone i can be dependant on, he is always there and never judgemental. he gets the weird autism things too cuz he has a best friend from 1st grade who is bipolar and some other things. he looks past them. I can come up to him no makeup, morning hair messy, morning breath, unshaven legs, breakout skin, etc etc, and he doesnt give a shit. i can rant about evil stepdad and what id like to do to him in violent gory detail and he wont make me feel like a bad person for thinking such things. etc etc etc. also, i can be completely naked around him and not feel the slightest bit awkward/vulnerable or self concious, that is how completely much i trust him. and its the first time i have gotten any of those things from a relationship =3 and now i want to see him all the time... i actually feel like i am the clingy one this time. X_X; but not jealous though haha he is not the type to flirt with other girls even before he started going out with me, and he is way too honorable to cheat even if he was tempted. so i have no cause to worry =3

... i do worry that he will crash his car horribly and die, thats another matter. crazy driver. X_X he drives a subaru sti 2013 too... its a power car... my fears there are completely founded! X_X *worry* but he likes that i worry like that... he tells me it makes him feel cared for. =] someone for everyone. ^_^ sorry if anything is too tmi... i have no filter really...

Thank you for your long reply. I have no doubts that you`re a wonderful person and nothing was tmi for me because i have no filters either, i like when people are fully open x)

Confirming referral.

Kaily is a very generous person and is easy to talk with. My interactions with her have been pleasant and she always seems to have items I need to buy (poor wallet).

I think she would be a good addition to the guild.

We came to a consensus that you will definitaly mix in with the other members. However we feel you may be a bit under level compared to the rest of us and that you may have a hard time keeping up in runs. As a fellow member I welcome you to Dreams.
You may apply at the guild stone South-West of Dun.

Application accepted.